Many times I heard the phrase ‘I want to be happy’ and always I found it stupid to say because happiness it is not something you can buy or have. It is just passing moment. More you seek for it, more you feel down. This is not also a new question that we are looking for. From the early ages, people were thinking about what happiness is and how it functions. Let’s see some fundamental philosophical questions about happiness:
Is happiness a tool or consequence?
Is it about concrete values or moral values?
My favorite question:
what we feel when we reach some material value that we aimed for is happiness or not?
Can someone be happy without any social environment?
Is someone who experienced pain and suffering can be happy?
What is happiness? Why are some people happy?
Happiness is bullshit. The nature itself is with dozen of problems. No other species no other generations are concerning about their iphone or buying a house , having a good car. No one before were crying because of relationships, dealing with depression due to stupid reasons.
I have read articles that stress related diseases are pretty high in Europe. Do these people concern about their life? How will they get enough food, enough water? How will survive? What should they scarify to save their children’s life? No.
In the nature as well, whatever you want you have to fight. It doesn’t matter if you are a bacteria or animal or galaxy. Universe has full of pain, full of fight.
Compared to all this perspective, we are the luckiest people all over the time. We are the richest, we are the most relax, most comfortable people. Believe me, this won’t be the same 100 years later because we ruined this universe.
Ok, let’s back to topic.
What is happiness?
Happiness is what is existed in recent 60 years. We define it as the state of being happy, a sum of pleasure. We see it as a result. This is where we got wrong, guys. Many people ask their selves why they cannot be happy. You don’t have to be happy. The happiness you define is completely materialistic thing. If you want to buy Ferrari and you cannot, yes, you cannot be happy. If you don’t know yourself and expect much, then you cannot be happy.
Expect less from life.
Just think that your life is much more relax then at least half of the world and much better than 99% of people population in entire history. Exactly that’s why you should stop looking for happiness but pleasure and pleasure is not hard to find.
Happiness and Pleasure
Yes, everybody has own problems. Germans has German problems that their routine will be ruined, Americans has American problems that their phone is not fast enough.. . Some people are concerning whether they can see the age of 30, other is dreaming about retirement and living until 90 years. Some families are trying the best for better education for their kids; some are just trying to survive. I won’t compare these. It makes no sense but be aware of your luck!
We are mixing happiness and pleasure a lot. Happiness looks like a purpose. One friend said once:
When will I be happy? I asked what happiness is and her answer was a good house, good family, good income and comfortable life. I said never. Because you will get that house and you will think that you are happy but just because you have it, you won’t be happy anymore. That house will have many problems from cleaning to maintenance. You will have kids, you will say it is happiness but then you have to feed them, stay sleepless, then spend for them, educate them. You will sacrifice a lot from your life.
You will have a great happy marriage. Perhaps… Surely, it will have many problems. In the end, you won’t have same feelings, maybe you will divorce or better case you will need more care and attention but after years it will be just habit of living together. So you will never happy. But good news you can be pleased.
Pleasure can be defined as happy moments. Just try to increase these moments. Think at the moment how you feel. You are healthy; you are drinking your coffee, reading your book. Then you have that pleasure that happy moment. You just wake up for new day and long day is waiting for you. Just be pleased.
Must be stupid to be happy
You must be stupid to look for happiness. You don’t have to be happy. Know yourself, don’t expect much, and don’t make stress yourself. It is all about accepting. Accept your situation, know your limits. Nobody is happy in the world because it is not about reaching goals, having money or whatever. We always ask more and more. What we have just lose its importance. We can always find something to complain. Those happy people you think and you see around are just the ones who don’t reflect their problems to all around. They can find that pleasure from small things. They are glad to be alive. We usually understand how happy we are when we experience extreme unhappiness. So, try to find it out without that unhappiness or bad experience.
When we were kid…
We didn’t know what happiness was because we were mostly happy, unless we cannot get something we want. See, it is all about what you want. However, we were not also making it a life problem. Because everything was new for us, we were constantly learning and learning. We were curious, everything was new for us.
Be curious
You can achieve this again. Be curious. Life has a lot to discover. Accept your unhappiness. World is cruel and bad but still worth to live.
Face yourself
You are not different than anyone else. You are special. Although you try to be original, different, better, you are the part of same mass. Think that Google can easily categorize you and offer something according to your interest.
We don’t have to be different. Only thing we should do is stop judging, stop comparing us with others. To get a highest pleasure from life we should face ourselves.
As everybody has own problems, everybody has own goals, own life, own style. Yes, we are all same but also different. You could be a successful business person or scientist or pop icon. But you are not. There are always reasons. If you still think that you can, then evaluate yourself, see where you make mistakes, what steps you should take and if you are ready to make it.
Start change from yourself.
I will write about this next episode. But shortly, if you still think that you deserve more, don’t complain, don’t blame environment. Start change from yourself.
Can someone be happy without any social environment?
We are social animals. That’s why we have cities, so much production, communities, religions and destroying the nature. We are only species who lives together with this big mass. We need socialization. It is possible to be happy without any person but sharing is the best and shortest way for pleasure. Because you will see, there are many people are same as you. There is nothing to worry.
Think that what is missing and we are unhappy. It is all about priorities. Order your life. In the end you won’t be happy but not lost. This will keep you motivated.
Have a purpose and creative
Yes, we said know yourself, expect less but you have to have purpose. You should still work for it, not because it will make you happy but because it is our fighting nature. We create problems and trying to solve them. What we enjoy is actually the process. All those challenges, steps you overcome will give you pleasure and a purposeful life will keep you busy. You won’t think about happiness. This also what keep suffering people ‘happy’ or ‘pleased’.
Furthermore, time gives us pain due to thinking about ourselves a lot and digging more. If you have a life and death situation, you will decide in seconds and live that moment. You will never think again what if you chose another option. Today, it is different. We know everything, we get information, we envy and we think a lot with irrational comparison. This is one of the main source of unhappiness. I don’t mean hear don’t think about yourself. Actually it is important to do that but simplify life go for the door you have chosen and close the other door. This will help you to make better and faster choices. There are many things to do in rest of the time rather than overthinking of every single decision.
Be creative!
Do music, do art, express all possible feelings you have, bad or good, cruel or merciful. Just express it. Fake it, steal it, repeat it but make it. Nothing is original don’t worry.
Even at the war you can have that pleasure. Every breath you take, every day you survive, every single drop of water you have can tie you up to life. Even under those circumstances you can smile unless you lose your hope for tomorrow.
In the end, I can just say that I don’t trust happy people. They are definitely hiding something. They have deep pains, deep sadness, a lot of stress on their self to seem happy or full of greed. Don’t try to be happy. Be what you are!
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